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Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Decidedly lowbrow

Dick jokes, everybody.  That’s where this post is headed, just so you know.

It started innocuously enough in my younger class, when I showed them an infected bug bite on my hand and they alternately recoiled and tried to fix me.  One boy Jay said, “Teacher, you have to — this — and on it, and it will okay.”

It was hard to recommend a good correction for this sentence.

As a sidebar, this is pretty typical of communication with many students: there are lots of gestures for unknown vocabulary and decent connecting language.  It could be worse!  To resume, “this” was peeing on the bite, and to drive the point home, a few other boys had to jump up and demonstrate as well, illustratively grabbing their crotches.  One added (or was it Jay again?) that his sister had told him so.

Then I had my second class which was wonderfully responsive and breezy, although I was feeling a little feverish from the room’s heater and the bug bite.  Afterward, I graded homework where I found the two gems in the pictures.

This was a translation exercise, and it should read "My little brother really doesn't like cockroaches." Suffixes are so important.

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G-A-Y!

This kid's home is plagued by spirits.

This story is a little old, but I just came from grading papers at work and I saw the students who originated this story.

Classes are set up with two 50 minutes halves split by a 10 minute break.  The students’ break is usually consumed by correcting their homework or quiz and test mistakes, but sometimes they’re able to eke out a few minutes to run around the hallways.  One day, this kid Marks (you read that right) lurches up to me hugging another boy (Wilson) tight and giggles “Teacher, we are G-A-Y!”

Um, what?!  So I told them, “OK, cool, but you cannot kiss anybody in class,” which I think was not the reaction they were looking for.  They didn’t figure on a teacher from Los Angeles!

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The penis game

On Wednesday nights, I have two older classes, instead of a younger class and an older class.  The second class is middle schoolers and almost middle schoolers, so they are generally awkward and don’t talk as much as I’d like.  They are also, apparently, obsessed with sex.  I’m being honest here: I don’t recall being this way in middle school at all.

Perhaps I’m blowing everything out of proportion, because it was actually pretty funny.  At the break, two kids were loitering by the board, so I told them to go ahead and draw.  The first thing the boy writes is a character, which, judging by the giggles, was rude.  I told him he was writing and I said to draw, so he erased it.  I look away and do something else, and when I look back, there’s the beginnings of a pretty ugly sexual encounter going down.  I don’t mean it was shocking or horrifying; I mean this kid is an awful artist.  Those people were ugly and the poor man looked like he had a tumor.  What could I really do but say it’s inappropriate and erase?  I told him to sit down and read his textbook for the rest of the break, and he at least listened then.  Now I know who can’t be trusted at the board!

The best part: next week, we’ll be reading news stories about AIDS.  That’ll be awesome.

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